feeling blessed at Christmas

I love Christmas and felt so into it this year. The music, the decorations, the shopping and buying everyone gifts (I love to give gifts!), but I'll be honest, sometimes Christmas makes me down. I remember Christmas being the time when my grandparents would drive up early in the morning to watch me open presents and my dad would fix everyone Christmas breakfast. Since my grandparents and uncle passed away, it really hasn't felt the same. I guess I just miss seeing Christmas through the eyes of my 5 year old self, filled with wonder and excitement that somehow a big ol' man with a white beard made his way down my chimney and would eat the cookies and milk I would sit out. I'll be honest, I believed in Santa a LONG, LONG time :)

This year was a special Christmas though. In the spring my grandmother was diagnosed with 4th stage colon cancer...and so Christmas this year took on another meaning. It was an emotional one, but it was a happy one as well. My aunts thought it would be neat for us all to get a Pandora bead to put on a bracelet for her, to remind her of all of us. Each of us was to write a message about why we chose that bead. Well, when she opened the boxes with all the beads and started reading, choking up and crying while she was reading them. All of the eyes in the room just filled with tears. I looked over at my cousin and saw her eyes welling up and I just lost it. I felt so lucky this Christmas. Lucky to have another Christmas with my grandmother. Lucky to get a chance to tell those that I love how much I truly do love them and how much they mean the world to me. Lucky to be sitting in a house with family members and have pee-your-pants laughs with and to share the special moments with. I felt so so blessed this Christmas and so so thankful for my family and everything in it. I never doubt that I am one lucky girl, blessed with an amazing family and wonderful opportunities, but this Christmas really opened my eyes to how truly lucky I am.

I will leave you with a quote that I found on KAG's page that I absolutely LOVE: "Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps, means a little bit more..." - Dr. Seuss