what's new...

Saturday night I saw Rascal Flatts and Darius Rucker! My seat was right infront of one of the stages that they walk out into the audience on. I LOVE LOVE LOVED it. Great concert! I touched the hand of Gary Levox, the lead singer of Rascal Flatts...how about a squeal like a little high school gal?! Darius played some old Hootie and the Blowfish songs which I've always loved especially "Let Her Cry" and boy oh boy did I cry when he sang "It Won't Be Like This For Long"...oh yes, the waterworks were flowing. He also covered Prince's song "Purple Rain" which was awesome. Rascal Flatts was also great. I've seen them once before, but this one topped the last time I saw them. I cried to What Hurts The Most" - of course!

What else is new in the life: Grad school starts back up in a week and a toxic "relationship" that I've been for about 4 years just ended which has been pretty emotional for me. It's amazing how even as bad as it can be at the 'bad' parts and how much it hurts how you just constantly dwell on the good and it makes you so super sad. It's even sadder that it was hardly a relationship, but more of an exclusive "friends with benefits" set up where I really sold myself short. We had been talking about our feelings for each other...and then we had a huge fight - even though we fought all the time, big fights...where he would go and then come back when he cooled off or "missed me". This time though, I think it was "the" big fight...the last one. I think it's over and I don't think that there can be any going back or erasing the pain from it. The going back and forth isn't healthy, it's tiring, and it's emotionally draining. It's a very complicated situation. I thought about writing a blog about toxic relationships and my experience because I've learned SO much about myself from it...but I also don't want it to come off wrong or seem like I'm throwing my problems at those who read my blog. I wanted to start this blog to talk about clothes, things I love, good buys I've discovered and other light hearted things, but I just feel that some could relate to my situation, and I would also like to know some peoples opinion of what's going on in his head?! I'm also big on feelings and drawing on other peoples experiences and how they are like my own. It's easy to do this in blogland because I get to share how I feel with women who might experience the same thing, but who aren't biased like my friends who hear about these situations over and over until they are just tired of it.

It's finally hit me that in order to change my relationships, I have to change myself...time to live and learn the mantra that you can't "love" somebody else until you "love" yourself...which is so true...so I finished the day off with a gym date and boy did it feel good to sweat it out!

Hope you all had a great Monday!