my new addiction...

Let me all just tell you about my new addiction, the show: More to Love! I didn't even know there was this show until I came across it last night on Google and then watched the first episode on Hulu. I ended up watching the second episode tonight. I'm not big on dating shows because I'm not big on the whole "let me fall in love with you" in this forced situation sort of thing infront of millions of viewers, but I'm feeling this show!

The guy Luke seems genuine, even though I read that he grew up as the skinny, popular football player type (and in pictures he was thin, not the big football player type) after claiming he had been overweight his whole life and had always been the 'chubby' kid. Luke reminds me of someone in my past, looks and personality wise - I do like him. He does seem kind and like he has a big heart. The girls - well, I have some mixed emotions about a few of them, but some are really gorgeous, both inside and out, even if they aren't a size 2. Some of the girls are the capital "B" word for sure. You know that once you get girls together - the claws come out. They definitely come out time to time in this show. One of the girls I liked the most was eliminated the first night (Don't want to ruin it for those of you who haven't seen it and want to watch, but I'll give you a clue: She was a GORGEOUS blonde).

My other two favorite girls are Melissa (with the "E" not the "A") and Kristian. These girls seem so super sweet and genuine. I feel so bad when they start crying (and it seems the girls on this show are ALWAYS crying) because I just want to yell "YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! I WISH YOU COULD SEE!" I'd love to be friends with some of these gals in real life. Well, basically just about 3 or 4 of the girls...the other ones seem like they could be vicious!

I guess I see a lot of myself in these girls and that's why I have such strong reactions to the show. I understand the hurt and emotions that these girls are experiencing with low self-esteem, with not full accepting and appreciating your body and feeling that no one else will. Sometimes even as great of a person you think you are, you think someone will never get past the things you find wrong with your body, to see that part of you. My heart really does break for these girls, but it also makes me think, if they don't like themselves, at all, and are visibly emotional about it all the time, how can they really be in a relationship? I'm a firm believer in working things out with yourself first before taking the dive into a relationship. Sure, if you meet the right person, they can make you feel a bit more confident, but if you depend on them solely to reassure you and make you confident, you become dependent, and how you feel about yourself solely depends on them. If you break up - then all heck breaks loose. I don't even want to imagine how some of these girls who are already SO into Luke will feel once they are eliminated - if they end up being eliminated. It will only further their belief system that is a vicious cycle in their head that they aren't "good" enough or "pretty" enough. I just hope some of these girls gain the confidence that will make for a healthy relationship. Insecurity can be so disastrous and it has wrecked many, if not ALL of my relationships. I hope these girls learn that they are just as beautiful and as worthy of love and acceptance as anyone else, no matter what shape or size they are.